Monday, May 8, 2023
Nigel and I are friends of Kris, Edi's son, who lives here in London, UK. We were privileged to meet Edi and Steve when they visited London, to see Kris in his new habitat, to meet his friends and to experience some of the varied things that the UK has to offer. They filled their days with laughter, gossip, anecdotes, stories, wine and trips around the capital. To have met Edi was to know someone who exuded joy and who knew that life is best measured by laughter, friends and adventures.
It was Easter when they visited so Edi was especially keen to see our garden and to talk to Nigel, my gardening husband, about plants, city gardens, the differences in weather between London and Saskatoon (vast) and to share tips. Desperate to impress her - why wouldn't you? - we sought out restaurants which made her favourite Italian dishes, sorted out tickets fo an extraordinary theatrical performance in Westminster Abbey, and hosted Edi, Steve and Kris at ours for Easter Sunday lunch. We loved every minute spent with her but it wasn't until weeks after they left for home, when we received a package from Saskatoon, that we fully appreciated the wonder of the woman. She had casually mentioned a cookie recipe when we had chatted, and so she sent us a batch of her cookies; we had talked about a Canadian pop singer, who we didn't know, so she sent us a CD of theirs; she had witnessed (and had contributed to) the emptying of countless bottles of wine while at Easter lunch, so she sent us a wine stopper that she knew we would never use! She had listened to every word, absorbed every detail, remembered every casual chat and knew how to brilliantly make fun of us. That's the kind of guest and new friend you want.
We messaged at Christmas and sent gifts back, via Kris, and we always had the best replies and messages from her and Steve.
Grief is the price you pay for love and finding comfort in memories and the lasting footprint of a person enables you to live alongside grief; it never quite goes away, never fully lifts, but sits alongside other emotions like gratitude, joy and pride. To have made such an impression on us, in such a short space of time, tells me that countless other people will be sharing these feelings too. Edi's legacy is how people were changed because of her, made better because of her, laughed because of her, and why we want to impress her still.
Our condolences to those who loved and knew her best.
Bernard Donoghue
